Off the deep end 2

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September 1, 1999 September 1, 1999 September 4, 1999 September 6, 1999 September 8, 1999
September 11, 1999 September 14, 1999 September 16, 1999 September 17, 1999 September 19, 1999
September 24, 1999 September 26, 1999 September 30, 1999

 

 

September 1, 1999 2:53 pm

Yesterday, I dragged Georgeann and 'burban out to Guitar Center in the middle of that crazy storm to go and get my new guitar. I had been planning on getting a Martin DM, which is a nice guitar and all, and then the salesman shows me a L'arrivee OM-02, and both G'ann and 'burban were very impressed by the sound and quality of that guitar, as was I. It's also solid wood all the way around, which the DM is not. It was a little bit more expensive, but definitely worth the money, I think. I also got a strap, capo, tuner, case, and strap pegs, which I need to get installed. It's a nice one. I like the guitar a lot. I spent a long time just playing it, and my fingertips are a little tender right now. ;-)

I'm also going to go see Stanford Women's Volleyball at U of H tonight. That should be REALLY REALLY cool :-) I'm totally looking forward to it. It'll be me, Kristen, G'ann, Lenny, and Shannon (a freshman here at Sid), and it should be pretty rad.... Very rad. Stanford volleyball, man! :-)

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 1, 1999 10:53 pm

Stanford volleyball. Wow. They're good. They cleaned out U of H in 3 games pretty handily... U of H had some nice swings and rallies, but they were really no match for Stanford. It felt very weird to yell, "Go Stanford." (Forgive me, Sam, Greg, and others... it'll never happen again)

I've actually started studying and stuff. I feel so strange. :-)

Our first Bible study is tomorrow. I'm excited, and scared, and a little bit of everything else in between. It's a very weird feeling. This is it. This is when it starts. Time to pray. Lots.

I also forgot to mention this earlier. My Rich Mullins section has been updated. Check it out. Click on the picture/text.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 4, 1999 10:10 am

Last night's Crusade meeting was packed! Very encouraging, even though there was also a pretty large contingent of people who came to eat and then just left... Oh well....

There were also more people signed up for the Bible study and all that, so that's looking really encouraging, too. I hope the guys are really open to finding their place here at Rice. I pray that they're ready and willing to seek God first, no matter what other pressures exist here.

I was also a little saddened that a couple of freshmen who said they were going to come didn't. But that's ok. There's always next week :-) and I can always drag them there :-)

On a lighter note, I just realized that I don't have very much underwear here. For some reason, my underwear continues to disappear, whether it disappears at home or at school. Weird. Anyway, when I get back from the retreat, I need to go shopping for underwear. Hanes all the way, baby.

One annoying thing that happened to me this week is that I forgot my PIN for my ATM card. The problem was, I didn't use my ATM card ALL summer, so I didn't use my PIN, and so, I forgot it (how's that for a run-on sentence? or at least overuse of commas). So on Tuesday, I have to go by Chase to take care of that too. Oh well.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 6, 1999 5:30 pm

I'm very excited about this year. I just got back from the Campus Crusade for Christ Leadership Retreat for the Houston Metro area, and it was very encouraging to talk about our plans for the year. I'm also thinking that I may just be foregoing volleyball for the rest of my time at Rice. As much as I love it, it looks like it'll be a significant chunk of my time, and I'm not sure it's worth the time and effort, especially since I'm considering doing a focus group or two this semester.

I'm excited about the freshmen study too. I'm really looking forward to meeting the guys, and getting to know them, and just spend time with them. I really don't know what I'm doing, though. I guess this where God works the best. I know I'm at a loss for what to do exactly, even with all the training, and stuff, and so I know that I HAVE to rely on God, and His power. It's actually reassuring in a way, when I think about that. I know God is infinitely more powerful than I am, and knows what is best not only for me and Ryan as leaders, but also for each of the guys that will come to the study at some point during the year.

I think I'm going to be needing a commentary at some point though. That and a book on systematic theology. I think the Grudem book looks like a good one, but I'm not sure if I want that one yet. As for a commentary, I think I'll have to do some research.

One thing that I think will be good for me, personally, as painful as it may be, is the early morning men's leaders study, which will be 6 am on Tuesday mornings. It will force me to be a lot more disciplined in the way that I spend my time.

I think one thing that I need to do in my rethinking of things, in the way I approach things, is to remember that as cool as my efforts are, God doesn't NEED me there to do it. He can do it without me, and it's an honor to have the privilege of being used by Him, and to see Him in action in others' lives.

On a side note, Scotty was telling me how he went varmint huntin' this weekend. He nailed two armadilloes. I'm jealous. I want to go hunting now. At least try it once. If I don't like it, then that's fine, but I've never been, and would like to try.

Well, that's enough for now, I need to go read.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 8, 1999 11:20 pm

The last two days have been pretty amazing for me. I'm likin' it :-)

There was the Cru mens leaders' study (I'm not sure if that's punctuated correctly, but I'm too tired to think about it just now) at 6 am yesterday morning. It was pretty rad. I really enjoyed it, as well as just getting up and getting things done in the day. I had a very full and productive day that included resetting the PIN on my ATM card, which I had forgotten, and putting in a good 3 hours at DACnet.

I also fell asleep very early in the evening last night... and so I slept about 9 hours last night. Very nice :-)

Today was also pretty cool. There were several highlights. First, at DACnet earlier tonight, I saw this flier about a faculty and staff prayer meeting on thursday mornings. I was like, "Wow. Really?" And then I saw that it was started by a Dr. Tour, a new chemistry professor here, who had spoken at the first NoonPraise last week. He's one awesome guy. Very much alive and vibrant, and most of all, dedicated to serving and glorifying God. It's really neat to see this start up, because Rice's faculty, to my knowledge, has never had many Christians on staff, and the ones that do exist have never been very active. And then Who Is Jesus? Week happens last year, and we get Dr. Jones an Dr. Camacho in on things, and then now this. I am so totally encouraged and stoked. I can't wait to work together with some of these professors for this coming year.

AND then..... Ryan and I had our second Sid/Hanszen freshmen men's study tonight in my room. It was pretty neat-o. We had 4 Hanszenites and 1 Sidizen, not including Ryan and myself. They seemed to get along pretty well, and were pretty into things. I am very encouraged by their interest in the Bible study, as well as Crusade and the other Christian possibilities on-campus. I'm also encouraged by the fact that there are other guys who showed interest, but just didn't make it tonight. I'll be praying for the guys (and the gals, too), to really make the Bible study a priority. I think it's that important. I don't know how to show them this, except to make it a priority myself. I guess that would mean not missing it, being prepared and all that. I can only pray that they realize how much a small group of brothers striving to be men of God can help them.

I'm just really excited about the coming year. I'm also constantly reminded of how inadequate I am at doing this. I really don't know that much about leading these guys. I mean, I've been through two Bible studies of my own, and I know what I want to communicate, but I'm not sure how to do this. Like I'm not sure that tonight, I really got to communicate what I wanted to communicate in the study to the guys. I guess I really can't complain. The guys were really into the study. I think Ryan and I may need to talk, though, about how we're going to run things in the future. All in all, I'm very happy with the way things turned out. Thank you God!

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 11, 1999 9:30 pm

God, I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. I'm not sure of what I said before. I'm not sure of what I say now. All I know is that I'm not capable, and I am fallen, and I need you. I can't do this alone, and I need you. Your love has captured me, and I need you more than anything in this world. I love you, God, and your grace is exactly what I need, exactly what I want. I can't do this on my own God. I need you. I need you to show me what you want me to do. I don't know how to do this God.

 

 

September 14, 1999 1:30 pm

I've got a friend who's in the hospital now, probably still in the operating room. It's kinda scary. I noticed that she wasn't around the last couple of days, and then I found out she's been in the hospital since Thursday. It's amazing how fragile life is. It's strange how it strikes home. It's also weird because I think that I've been struggling with this BIG decision (and I have been wrestling with it), but it's really strange how it can be put in perspective as not as big as I may have made it out to be, compared to the things that my brothers and sisters may be experiencing elsewhere. It's so easy to be myopic.

Sometimes, I wonder about the mindset many American Christians, myself most definitely included, have about Christianity here, compared to elsewhere in the world. Just in terms of our views of suffering. Do we know what it means to suffer here? Do we know what it's like to have our homes, our families, our lives threatened because we profess Christ?

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 16, 1999 5:13 pm

Today has been a very full day. After walking in late to epidemiology, I went to take care of my Chinese language lab stuff, and then I sat down to try to finish reading for psychology (since the test is tomorrow), and then I went to immuno, and then ate lunch.

Then, the stuff I did after lunch is why I want to be a doctor. I went over to Texas Children's Hospital, and did my first day as a volunteer with His Grace Foundation. His Grace Foundation is a non-profit Christian volunteer organization that focuses on the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit of TCH, and we base out ministry on II Corinthians 12:9, which says "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (NIV). We're there to be God's hands and feet, grace to the patients and their families. I was given my first family, and let's just say that I know that God will most definitely teach me lots through this experience, and I look forward to it, and to serving the family and the patient.

I also went over to visit the friend I mentioned before, since she's right next door to TCH, sorta (there are 13 some odd hospitals in the Texas Medical Center, so they're all sorta right next to each other), and I was encouraged by her strength. She is a trooper, for sure. She seemed very calm and relaxed, and I just had a great time hanging out with her and her mother. We talked a lot about being a doctor, and how she (Jenna) knows that when she becomes a doctor, she knows what she does and doesn't want to do, especially in how she relates to her patients. She is one amazing gal. And best of all, she's a sister-in-Christ. It's really amazing how different it can be sometimes, talking to fellow Christians in this sort of situation.

I'm really thankful for the Christians here at Rice that have been my support here, my prayer support, my friends. Not that my pre-Christian friends haven't been good friends either, but there's something different when we know we're serving the same God.

I gotta go now, but I want to write more.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 17, 1999 9:39 pm

I'm so very tired, but I feel like I need to talk. I'm not sure about why, or what, so I'm just going to randomly spew.

There was an interesting email to the SAINTS listserv (that would be the listserv for the Christian community at Rice) today. Someone wants to start a group for "queer Christians-- rice's gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered Christian student ministry."

Hmmmmmmm. At first, it doesn't look too bad, in the sense that I don't want to jump to any conclusions without reading the entire email. That would not be fair to the person. Perhaps the group they want to start ministers to tha segment of society in a Biblical manner.

Or not.

Although the email does not specifically say it, it would appear that their stance on homosexuality, bisexuality, and so forth is that it is not sin. The sender said:

"i am openly bisexual, and openly Christian. please respect that even if you don't agree with my theological standpoint. i am starting this club out of a necessity for a gay-affirming ministry that gives gay Christians a sense of community and accountability on the rice campus, as well as an opportunity to reach out to the gay and lesbian community at rice and tell the lost about Jesus and get the saved on fire for God. please pray for this organization, for God's love to motivate it, and for God's will to lead it."

*sigh*

I don't know how to think about this, and what I should do, if anything. The reason this is actually pertinent to me, and making me think, is because of the different things that are usually joint Christian activities here at Rice, like Night of Praise, Rez Week/Who Is Jesus? Week/whatever it's to be called this year, and things like that. I know the issue will come up at somepoint, and when it does, it will need to be dealt with. In a loving and Biblical manner.

hmph...

It's not going to be easy. That's for sure.

I feel like such a wimp sometimes, too. Apathetic, at least. I feel like I should be making more of a concerted effort to reach out to to my friends, to show them God's love, and to share my life with them.

And I'm tired. I don't know what it is, but I'm ready to go to bed. With that, I think I will.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 19, 1999 7:23 pm

NLTC (New Life Training Center) was yesterday, and I went to the Advanced session, and it sure got me thinking about how I approach (or should approach) the ministry I have here at Sid. At least on the level of giving the Bible study a little more visibility. Following up on the few FSKs that I've already distributed. Just investing myself in the eternal things. We talked about having an eternal perspective, too. Living for the line instead of the dot. I really like that analogy. Take a look at the digram below.

The dot is where we are, the here and now. Are we focused on eternity future? On the things that matter? "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen." (II Corinthians 4:18a) On Christ? On His work? On what He wants for this world and the people of it?

The only way we will see the world as Christ sees it, is to know Him, to know His Word, and know the Gospel. The gift is hard to appreciate in all of its glory unless we see what it does for us - saves us while we were in a state of utter putrescence. And it is then that we realize how awesome and loving and wonderful God's grace is, and how we should respond in love for Him and other pre-Christians.

Of course, it's so much easier said than done, but it's got to start somewhere. And one thing to remember is it's not my own strength, but it's God through me. I can never do it on my own. It's all about God working through me. Dying to myself, and surrendering to Him. Christ in me is to live, to die is gain.

In any case, it sure got me thinking.

I also visited my friend in the hospital again. I am again amazed at her strength. Wow. I don't know that I would be that calm in a situation like that. If she was scared, she didn't show it much. I mean, I could pick up on it a little, just in the way she was talking about certain things, but in general, she didn't seem scared much at all. It was so much fun to just spend time talking to her.

We began to have an interesting discussion in Sunday School today about our motivations for doing certain things. When we desire to do righteous deeds, do we do it out of love for God? For others? Out of a sense of duty/responsibility? An obligation? For the rewards that God has promised us? Things to think about.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 24, 1999 12:44 am

It's late, and I need to go to bed very soon, but I just felt like I needed to write in here... It's been a while since I last put down an entry, so I feel like I should put something down. :-)

I had dinner with one of the guys in my Bible study tonight, and I realized just how hard it is to really invest oneself into another person. It's hard. It takes time, effort, energy, committment, and a lot of perseverance. I mean, I had a good time talking with him and all, but it was just a little weird at first, trying to be "intentional" in my conversation, knowing that there were certain things that I wanted to ask him, and stuff.

I've also been a lot more disciplined in my study time and work schedule. Unfortunately, I've also been less than consistent in my own quiet times. That needs to change.

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 26, 1999 7:30 pm

Wow. Weekends are always so busy for me, and that doesn't usually include schoolwork! I'm soooooooo tired now. I really shouldn't be making this entry.

Anyway, Friday afternoon, I went over to TCH to hang out with the kids in the bone marrow transplant unit, and had a great time, but it's still kinda tiring to be over there. I mean, the environment is just inherently stressful, even with WCW (or was it WWF? it was one of those, I think) WarZone to play on the Nintendo64 :-) The kids are so awesome though. One of the kids got to go home that day, and she was so excited. You could see that she was itching to get out of there.

We also rented The Matrix and watched that. I'd already seen it last semester, but I just have to say that I love that movie. That is such a GREAT movie. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It does have a lot of violence though. But man, it's a THINKER! It's one of those movies where you have to get past some of the crappy acting (Keanu's in it. That says it all... but he does have this one cool line where he just says, "Whoa." It's great.) and really think about the ideas the movie presents... Definitely one you want to see with friends and talk about afterwards. You may just get to talk about some really neato stuff.

Then Saturday was packed, too. There was the Internationals Welcome picnic, which was actually a lot of fun. There were some really cool people there, and I think they really enjoyed it. It also sprinkled a little through the picnic, but in general, God really blessed the time, I thought. I made some new friends. A guy from Turkey, one from Bosnia, and another from India. Since I helped set up for that one, that took up the morning, and then I also went to watch the Sid-Hanszen Powderpuff game, which unfortunately, ended in a Sid loss. Two plays. Just two plays. But Lisa won't let me forget that she had an awesome block to make one of those plays possible :-)

After that, I did get a little Chinese done, and then took a quick nap before dinner and the Rice-Navy game. That was a good game. Nice and competitive. And we won. :-) 20-17. Which is always good. It was a good game. Rice even completed some passes! :-)

And that meant very little work done this weekend. I've had something to do almost every minute of the day. And today, I took a 3 hour nap after church. Ahhhhhhh. And I still haven't done much work today.

And the rest of the evening is dedicated to work. If I can stay awake. :-)

Just thoughts.

 

 

September 30, 1999 12:50 pm

I'm so excited! I'm going to the Steven Curtis Chapman concert tomorrow night with some friends, and going up to the Crusade Fall Conference a little late. But it's ok, since it means I get to see SCC in concert! :-)

Geoff Moore will be playing, too.... but I'm definitely going to see SCC. I've been waiting YEARS, and I mean YEARS, to see him in concert, and I finally get to go! :-) woohoo!!! I really like his new CD, Speechless, too. In particular, I really like "The Invitation."

Wow. I really like this song, simply because it lays out the Gospel in no uncertain terms. This is the invitation. Our invitation.

On a side note, today's My Utmost for His Highest was particularly notable for me. There's the line that says:

God can never make us wine if we object to the fingers He uses to crush us with. If God would only use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured-out wine in a special way! But when He uses someone whom we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would never submit, and makes those the crushers, we object.

It hits me as something that I constantly need a reminder of. That the situations that we find ourselves put in are a part of the master orchestration of the One who knows what is infintely better for us than we could possible imagine or ask. Romans 8:28 - "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (NASB). The "crush" comes when we have to decide whether we REALLY trust God in what He says there or not. Do we or don't we? Or are we going to be myopic and trapped in our tunnel vision and not trust God for what He has for us in the future. Philippians 1:6 - "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" (NASB). God has a plan for me. He has a plan for you. We only need to pursue Him, to run after Him, to love what He loves, to care about what He cares about.

Just thoughts.